Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize