Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
