Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
