I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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