I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm both gender and math confused
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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