There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
