420 ftw
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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