forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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