That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
