I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Life is so much better after having sex.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
