Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
