My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
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My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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