I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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