So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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