Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Why were you high on a thursday?

(1-650): View more from California

today's a wednesday

(650): View more from California

I asked first.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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(205): View more from Alabama

That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".

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(250): View more from British Columbia

for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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(331): View more from Illinois

She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"

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(618): View more from Illinois

I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there

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