just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
