1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize