Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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