My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
