Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
