did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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