tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
