She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
