We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
