You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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