do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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