he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
