So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
