He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
