Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize