I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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