I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
