Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
