it hurts more in the daytime
Acid is not a monday night drug
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.