I just cut my nipple shaving
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am midnight drunk by noon
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize