Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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