Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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