they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
