I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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