I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
