what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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