my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
