Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
how drunk are you?
Several
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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