Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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