saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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