3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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