I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
