Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Come on in and take your pants off
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