so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
