we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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