thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
