so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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