Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
