Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Randomize
