Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
