need another drink. this is the easiest way
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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