Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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