please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.