I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you made out with another girl for some wings
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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