this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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